Monday, January 23, 2012

The power of nagging

As I was rushing to warm Hassan's clothes on the heater before he puts them on, I heard the horn.  It is the bus!! oops..we missed it.  I ventured into the cold balcony and waved at the bus to inform the driver to go away.  He did not see me, though and kept nagging with his horn.  I realized right from the very first moment that he is neither gonna see me nor my signaling hands, and yet I stood there, unable to go in and proceed with the morning marathon.  As long as he nagged, I stood. Then, I wondered, what is it about nagging that freezed me into inaction?  or what is it about me, may be?  why can't I ignore requests, horns, moans or complaints?  actually, it goes even further, I find it hard to ignore any comment, any criticism, any upset atom in the air.  The problem is that sometimes, I know that the request is illegitimate, or selfish or incorrect. Sometimes, I know that the signals will be futile and that it would have been more productive to go in and continue what I was doing. 

Even worse, sometimes I hear criticism that I know is vicious, is unfounded and yet I stand there listening, letting all those negative vibes penetrate me. 

Why do I do that?? when it is a waste of energy, time and waste of fun as well?  What if I decide to close the shelters at some point and let the wind blow outside?  why not?  It might seem difficult, but I have done it before and it has worked.  It is sometimes a visualization technique in which I am sheltered, and sometimes it is a switch in my head, through which I divert the ongoing blah blah blah outward and focus on what is important at hand.

And sometimes, it is a plain "stop and go" thing.  I stop the blah blah blah and go....May be I just have to be more aware and more firm, and let the nagging go somewhere else.

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