Friday, May 31, 2013

As a sauce pan!!

Like a saucepan that has been invaded and is empty....yet you still dig into it every second with a large big metal spoon! The sauce pan is screaming " there is nothing left! You are only scratching me!!"

Something inside of me (no, that is not true, let me rephrase it). 
Everything inside of me is screaming and pleading that this is not what I want still.  This was not the life version she signed for.  This is not the plan, nor the action. This is not fun, this is not it. This is not mine.  Right now, there are not so many burning turmoils in my head, which is a blessing...long forgotten.  Yet, there are a million tiny ants running in my brains...up and down actively reminding me every milli second of what I have to do the next second, and minute and day and week. And as if they are announcing war, they are playing drums in my head!

For reasons that are justifiable and logical and even necessary as well as urgent, my days have been filled with everything you can think of: team meetings, management meetings, errands to the supermarket, driving my son to the club and my daughter to her friends, and hair dresser, doctors, projects, deadlines, weddings, travel plans, studies, demos, presentations, shopping, tailor, championships, passports, IDs, consulates, and lots of other stuff!

Yet, this person inside of me is screaming for releif..release...relaxation... a break..where someone may offer a cup of tea...or say thank you or even smile...

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