Dear Blog,
I am writing today because I am very confused. I have always loved a life that is full. At work, whenever I took a job in, it usually started calmly (except my one which was chaos right from the start), and then I took on things.. and then I created things.. and those things had babies and sisters and families and all of a sudden I would find myself, literally not finding a spare minute.
I started working early on at 18 keeping myself busy. Even my part-time, free-lance fun job as movie translator.. I managed to turn it hectic and over-loading. I took more and more and stayed up late translating for the deadline.
I had no financial responsibilities then, I mean of course it was pretty nice and self-inflating to get well paid when I was 18, but it was never money that motivated me.
And now it is not much different. I have left the multinational world and work as a part time HR head in a local company, which I assume should have been less hectic. In a year, I have managed to do the same thing. I over loaded myself with objectives every year as if life would end after this. As if I have one damn chance to finish it all. Pretty psycho... isn't it?
The problem is, I have dreams.. big and colourful.. I have a lot of dreams. There is my company that I am currently creating with the documentation, the website, the brochure, the services... there is this blog, there is the book I am DYING to write, and it is crying out to get out of me every second of the day! There are of course my kids and my family. There are my friends.. lots of friends..
Shall I go more: diving trips, trips abroad; both are essential oxygen to a true Sagittarius. Parents, that I love and want to take care of. My second Masters degree, in which, for no urgent reasons, I enrolled a year ago and did nothing about so far.. except studying every now and then..
Favours and support I do to others whenever I can.
Coaching, which I do little of .
Workshops. Fun and lovely
The problem truly is not in being occupied all the time. That is not it. Problem is not being unable to have fun, cos' I do have fun!
Problem is, My dreams... colourful as they are... always somehow end up last in the list.. never done. And something in me is screaming loudly : YOUR BOOK!!!!!! YOUR COMPANY!!! YOUR COACHING!!! These voices, unfortunately, are insatiable, just like me. They ask for many things. I wish they would ask for one. Get satisfied with one..
I always think I will be on time for an appointment. I always think there is enough time to take a shower, linger with a cup of coffee... get nicely dressed and get there on time. But, I almost never do!! and never change!
Is it the same syndrome: ME : the unbeatable?? ME who can take it all? whether it is obligations, invitations, requests, meetings, outings, trips, even pains.. me who can take it all??
Well, that is quite a positive look at myself I guess. It must be far better than thinking I can't take any of it. As I write this, I remember times when I did say that actually "I can't do this anymore". I remember times when my oxygen levels were metaphorically speaking low and I had to get out.
I don't say NO. That is another issue. No is a big no no.. No can hurt others. No can deprive me of chances and opportunities. No, means not going through an open door, that might be closed later on.
A sentence rings in my ears. A sentence I read when I was studying coaching, the module on Balance. Let me fetch it for you guys. Here it is
" Balance is about learning to say no, not only to the yucky, drippy stuff that no one wants anyway, but to the good stuff too." " That apple pie looks mighty good, but I AM FULL. Thank you, but NO." It's about learning to be done rather than trying to always finish and about choosing the experiences we want to have rather than dashing about trying to have all of them."
I guess as I copy this down..what I feel is : I REST MY CASE. I Guess I have to give something up. FOR NOW... But they are all my babies.. how can I do that?? But unless I have been blessed with being pregnant in sextuplets (6 babies) that is not very likely to happen? Right?? So, it seems as if I am pregnant in one or max. 2 and for no urgent reasons (again) I am adopting babies.. which is a fine cause.. but why at the same time??
I guess... what I have to do is identify my original babies...and postpone adoption for a while.. Also, In real life with babies.. you do not really keep planning everyday ( I tried.. I swear and it did not work at all) you just go and do what it takes at the time.. just go and finish the task at hand because the baby is crying. And right now.. I can hear one baby crying louder than the rest; MY BOOK....
Thank you blog :)
I am writing today because I am very confused. I have always loved a life that is full. At work, whenever I took a job in, it usually started calmly (except my one which was chaos right from the start), and then I took on things.. and then I created things.. and those things had babies and sisters and families and all of a sudden I would find myself, literally not finding a spare minute.
I started working early on at 18 keeping myself busy. Even my part-time, free-lance fun job as movie translator.. I managed to turn it hectic and over-loading. I took more and more and stayed up late translating for the deadline.
I had no financial responsibilities then, I mean of course it was pretty nice and self-inflating to get well paid when I was 18, but it was never money that motivated me.
And now it is not much different. I have left the multinational world and work as a part time HR head in a local company, which I assume should have been less hectic. In a year, I have managed to do the same thing. I over loaded myself with objectives every year as if life would end after this. As if I have one damn chance to finish it all. Pretty psycho... isn't it?
The problem is, I have dreams.. big and colourful.. I have a lot of dreams. There is my company that I am currently creating with the documentation, the website, the brochure, the services... there is this blog, there is the book I am DYING to write, and it is crying out to get out of me every second of the day! There are of course my kids and my family. There are my friends.. lots of friends..
Shall I go more: diving trips, trips abroad; both are essential oxygen to a true Sagittarius. Parents, that I love and want to take care of. My second Masters degree, in which, for no urgent reasons, I enrolled a year ago and did nothing about so far.. except studying every now and then..
Favours and support I do to others whenever I can.
Coaching, which I do little of .
Workshops. Fun and lovely
The problem truly is not in being occupied all the time. That is not it. Problem is not being unable to have fun, cos' I do have fun!
Problem is, My dreams... colourful as they are... always somehow end up last in the list.. never done. And something in me is screaming loudly : YOUR BOOK!!!!!! YOUR COMPANY!!! YOUR COACHING!!! These voices, unfortunately, are insatiable, just like me. They ask for many things. I wish they would ask for one. Get satisfied with one..
I always think I will be on time for an appointment. I always think there is enough time to take a shower, linger with a cup of coffee... get nicely dressed and get there on time. But, I almost never do!! and never change!
Is it the same syndrome: ME : the unbeatable?? ME who can take it all? whether it is obligations, invitations, requests, meetings, outings, trips, even pains.. me who can take it all??
Well, that is quite a positive look at myself I guess. It must be far better than thinking I can't take any of it. As I write this, I remember times when I did say that actually "I can't do this anymore". I remember times when my oxygen levels were metaphorically speaking low and I had to get out.
I don't say NO. That is another issue. No is a big no no.. No can hurt others. No can deprive me of chances and opportunities. No, means not going through an open door, that might be closed later on.
A sentence rings in my ears. A sentence I read when I was studying coaching, the module on Balance. Let me fetch it for you guys. Here it is
" Balance is about learning to say no, not only to the yucky, drippy stuff that no one wants anyway, but to the good stuff too." " That apple pie looks mighty good, but I AM FULL. Thank you, but NO." It's about learning to be done rather than trying to always finish and about choosing the experiences we want to have rather than dashing about trying to have all of them."
I guess as I copy this down..what I feel is : I REST MY CASE. I Guess I have to give something up. FOR NOW... But they are all my babies.. how can I do that?? But unless I have been blessed with being pregnant in sextuplets (6 babies) that is not very likely to happen? Right?? So, it seems as if I am pregnant in one or max. 2 and for no urgent reasons (again) I am adopting babies.. which is a fine cause.. but why at the same time??
I guess... what I have to do is identify my original babies...and postpone adoption for a while.. Also, In real life with babies.. you do not really keep planning everyday ( I tried.. I swear and it did not work at all) you just go and do what it takes at the time.. just go and finish the task at hand because the baby is crying. And right now.. I can hear one baby crying louder than the rest; MY BOOK....
Thank you blog :)
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