As Daniel Gilbert says in his book, we are always "nexting". Many people also spend days and nights exploring the past or reliving it, or if not, they sort of wonder about it and why it was so not as they would have liked it to be.
Especially in a place of not knowing, the future is full of worries. It is laden with anticipated future pains for ourselves but also for those we love. I worry about my kids and how they will turn out, though I am usually not the worrying fretting person. I wonder about their schools and their personalities and how things will turn for them. I wonder about myself, my book, my health and my dreams. I wonder about what they will eat and what I will cook and when shall I cook it. I even go in my head through the ingredients list, once I have figured out the menu. I also think of money, will it be there? what about the school fees, the university fees, and all that follows.
The past is full of regrets of all the times I have not taken the right turn, all the things I said "yes" to when I should have not. And all the things, I actually said "No" to, and it does not seem logical anymore. As Gilbert says we try so hard for a future self that is forever ungrateful. The past is full of scars and instead of letting them be what they are scars, we go there, we scratch and it bleeds.
I spend days and nights full of hallucinating dreams where past and future mingle in today and create a nightmare. I have all the components fetched elaborately from past events and future worries. and before I know it, the day is doomed. And when I leave work, or get out of home, or finish the meetings, I hear those voices eating me inside.
And then I decided " May be I cannot now manage the past. May be I cannot bear the future. But I can handle the "now"". "Now I am driving in my car, Now I am going to work thinking of the stuff I have to do. There is no problem with that. I can handle that." Or I say "now I am writing my blog. There is nothing difficult with that. I enjoy it. It is safe and pleasant. I will not wander to any other dimension of time."
They come now those ghosts from the past, and those zombies from the future and I bring back myself to the now. The "now" I can handle, even if in the cases when it is not the most pleasant, I can still handle that. Even if the future will be "bad" in some ways, I will be able to handle it then, when it becomes a now. But for the time being, all I can handle is the "now", so I will stay here now. and chain myself to a stable moment that is existing, as if it is eternity.
Especially in a place of not knowing, the future is full of worries. It is laden with anticipated future pains for ourselves but also for those we love. I worry about my kids and how they will turn out, though I am usually not the worrying fretting person. I wonder about their schools and their personalities and how things will turn for them. I wonder about myself, my book, my health and my dreams. I wonder about what they will eat and what I will cook and when shall I cook it. I even go in my head through the ingredients list, once I have figured out the menu. I also think of money, will it be there? what about the school fees, the university fees, and all that follows.
The past is full of regrets of all the times I have not taken the right turn, all the things I said "yes" to when I should have not. And all the things, I actually said "No" to, and it does not seem logical anymore. As Gilbert says we try so hard for a future self that is forever ungrateful. The past is full of scars and instead of letting them be what they are scars, we go there, we scratch and it bleeds.
I spend days and nights full of hallucinating dreams where past and future mingle in today and create a nightmare. I have all the components fetched elaborately from past events and future worries. and before I know it, the day is doomed. And when I leave work, or get out of home, or finish the meetings, I hear those voices eating me inside.
And then I decided " May be I cannot now manage the past. May be I cannot bear the future. But I can handle the "now"". "Now I am driving in my car, Now I am going to work thinking of the stuff I have to do. There is no problem with that. I can handle that." Or I say "now I am writing my blog. There is nothing difficult with that. I enjoy it. It is safe and pleasant. I will not wander to any other dimension of time."
They come now those ghosts from the past, and those zombies from the future and I bring back myself to the now. The "now" I can handle, even if in the cases when it is not the most pleasant, I can still handle that. Even if the future will be "bad" in some ways, I will be able to handle it then, when it becomes a now. But for the time being, all I can handle is the "now", so I will stay here now. and chain myself to a stable moment that is existing, as if it is eternity.
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