yesterday, my friend at work told me the bad news he received that a friend of theirs was shot. I tried quickly not to register the news or at least not to get involved in it. I no longer could tolerate that and I wanted to push it aside from my sheet of facts quickly lest it would trigger again those feelings of pain, sorrow, helplessness and a huge dark ball of unfairness. The unfairness is not that we die, the unfairness seems to me is why and how we die.
Since the Ultras event, I have been finding it very difficult to come back to myself, to skip a day without wondering how their parents feel, how the days start and end for them while they know they no longer have this son in the other bedroom. Knowing more about it makes me cry, get headaches and eventually a feeling of fear creeps for my children. I find myself for the first time in my life fearing that my kids go out. Fearing that I go out late, lest my kids would wake up one day and have no mother to cling to.
Today, I wake up to find an sms that the lady who died, May God generously cover her with mercy and peace, and give her family and friends consolation, patience and faith., that she is the sister of a friend of mine. I see the pictures posted on facebook for her and her daughter and my heart breaks. I do not want to talk about it here because it is too personal .. it is not my life and I do not feel I have the right to probe into it..and it makes me cry too..so, let us talk about it in general terms..
If my tears fall, and my head seems to be going to pieces, what about the families of those people? killed, shot, strangled like little Anas in Ultras (may he rest in peace and mercy) what about them?
And what is happening in Egypt? Why are we going through this? I am fed up, of hearing about one more fellow human being dying for no obvious reason..
How could people be so cruel, how could we, human beings metamorphose into a less-than-an-animal being?
I have nothing, once more to offer, except prayers for all those who were killed, for all their families, and another prayer that God may protect our families, friends and kids, and all innocent people...may He protect all the blessings we take for granted..
Since the Ultras event, I have been finding it very difficult to come back to myself, to skip a day without wondering how their parents feel, how the days start and end for them while they know they no longer have this son in the other bedroom. Knowing more about it makes me cry, get headaches and eventually a feeling of fear creeps for my children. I find myself for the first time in my life fearing that my kids go out. Fearing that I go out late, lest my kids would wake up one day and have no mother to cling to.
Today, I wake up to find an sms that the lady who died, May God generously cover her with mercy and peace, and give her family and friends consolation, patience and faith., that she is the sister of a friend of mine. I see the pictures posted on facebook for her and her daughter and my heart breaks. I do not want to talk about it here because it is too personal .. it is not my life and I do not feel I have the right to probe into it..and it makes me cry too..so, let us talk about it in general terms..
If my tears fall, and my head seems to be going to pieces, what about the families of those people? killed, shot, strangled like little Anas in Ultras (may he rest in peace and mercy) what about them?
And what is happening in Egypt? Why are we going through this? I am fed up, of hearing about one more fellow human being dying for no obvious reason..
How could people be so cruel, how could we, human beings metamorphose into a less-than-an-animal being?
I have nothing, once more to offer, except prayers for all those who were killed, for all their families, and another prayer that God may protect our families, friends and kids, and all innocent people...may He protect all the blessings we take for granted..
No comments:
Post a Comment