I know a friend who is getting completely scared about the a/m date. The rumours that it is going to be the end of the world has really got to him. He has been purchasing all sorts of things to store at home, and is making plans to avoid the unavoidable. I know other friends who were planning a wedding on that special day. For me, it is special alright since it is my birthday!
Today as I was talking to my dad, trying to entertain him I mentioned the cold wave all over the world and how the weather yesterday in Cairo was warm and today all of a sudden it is cold and windy and back to 8C after being 24C! and then we said the usual comment of "the world is changing" then it struck me "what if it is actually the end of the world?" Immediately, a sense of relief washed over me. it was so quick and comfortable that amid the conversation, I wanted to go back to that moment and try to find out what was it that brought comfort and peace so as to cling to a bit more..
What if the end of the world is kind of soon? then I would not need to worry, I guess. Then I would not purchase items - unlike my friend- because it would not change destiny anyway. Then, I would not wake up everyday feeling like I have to do something, to achieve, to make a record, I would wake up - may be- opening new doors, trying new things but without this huge attachment to deliverables...to success..
what else? I would love more freely, reject more quickly, accept that it is not my fault since life would be too short, and so that would be the reason why I could not do what I had to.. God! what is this eternal student-like feeling? you know the feeling that you have studies to be done, and you are watching TV, trying to enjoy it but feeling too guilty?? wasting time but knowing deep inside that you shouldn't? what can we call that? A sick sense of responsibility?
If life would end, I would take each day without the urge to finish it with a concrete deliverable.
I guess, if life would end, I would not feel cornered each day to prove that I am good enough, successful enough, useful enough...I would just go on in my path and let whatever happens happen or as we say "Que sera sera.."
Today as I was talking to my dad, trying to entertain him I mentioned the cold wave all over the world and how the weather yesterday in Cairo was warm and today all of a sudden it is cold and windy and back to 8C after being 24C! and then we said the usual comment of "the world is changing" then it struck me "what if it is actually the end of the world?" Immediately, a sense of relief washed over me. it was so quick and comfortable that amid the conversation, I wanted to go back to that moment and try to find out what was it that brought comfort and peace so as to cling to a bit more..
What if the end of the world is kind of soon? then I would not need to worry, I guess. Then I would not purchase items - unlike my friend- because it would not change destiny anyway. Then, I would not wake up everyday feeling like I have to do something, to achieve, to make a record, I would wake up - may be- opening new doors, trying new things but without this huge attachment to deliverables...to success..
what else? I would love more freely, reject more quickly, accept that it is not my fault since life would be too short, and so that would be the reason why I could not do what I had to.. God! what is this eternal student-like feeling? you know the feeling that you have studies to be done, and you are watching TV, trying to enjoy it but feeling too guilty?? wasting time but knowing deep inside that you shouldn't? what can we call that? A sick sense of responsibility?
If life would end, I would take each day without the urge to finish it with a concrete deliverable.
I guess, if life would end, I would not feel cornered each day to prove that I am good enough, successful enough, useful enough...I would just go on in my path and let whatever happens happen or as we say "Que sera sera.."
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